Guy Cant Stop Hitting Himself

Behold the Wimp-O-Matic 3000! It would have been the most wanted Xmas toy of 2010, if it actually existed - It's just like poetry in motion, you wind this kid up, and he bullies himself!

It must make a change for a postman to be greeted by a dog that isn't either looking to chew his ankle or gleefully tear his deliveries asunder. This pooch simply collects the mail and obediently delivers it to his master.

All those looking-back-at-the-year types shows and articles are generally pretty shitty, full of boring crap that you hated the first time round, let alone seeing it again. But this is different.

Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars' hit "Uptown Funk" gets a makeover and is sung in the styles of characters from Family Guy, American Dad and King Of The Hill in this new vid from impressionist Mikey Bolts.

What's that, you think he's cute? WRONG! That's no ordinary hamster. He's the most foul, cruel and bad tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! He's a killer with nasty, big, pointy teeth. Rabies anyone?

The only serious factor about this military man-love mania is shouldn't they be patrolling the base or neutralizing some enemy scumbags? Who cares though really, if their foe saw this they'd probably run away screaming!

Always secretly wanted a light gun you could use to permanently blind friends and pets from over a kilometer away? I know! Me too! Well, it looks like it's finally been made. This little badboy is right at the top of my xmas list.

This babe is truly something to behold, I honestly don't know that I can say that I remember a girl with an arse that makes me want to break down and sob tears of joy over!

Down in the mosh-pit is not the pace to be if you just came to listen to the music - The ringing in his ears lasted the rest of the band's set... thankfully.

In Silicon Valley, no one can hear you scream…as your fellow IT worker from Yahoo thumps you in the neck with a swinging aggressive fist. Who knew that a bunch of geeks decided to do this?

Wanna flog your mum's best jewels so that you can afford the new iPhone and have a bit left over for beer money? You should call this guy. He's just got one of those trustworthy faces, yknow? I bet he'll give you a good deal.