Bikini Party

Ain't no party like a bikini party. Whoever came up with this formula is a True American Hero. Girls, bikinis and water spraying everywhere. It's like one of Stewie Griffin's epic parties, but even better!

So you wanna get an iPhone and be cool, hell, why not! Just as long as you read the 'Small Penis'....DAMMIT, 'Small Print' when you txt - Just be prepared to suffer the perils of Apple's auto-correct technology.

After seeing these you could say that the definition of beauty is 'when you can go out without make-up and not be mistaken for a dude in a wig'. Most of these girls you could pass in the street and not have a clue who they were...

A random bunch of über-hot non-fishfaces that we can all agree are ball-achingly SUPER-HOT. Hotter than salsa dancing on the moon in an acrylic jumpsuit. Hotter than sitting on a barbecue dressed as Jabba the Hut. Etc.

Just because you joined up doesn't mean you'll be spending all your time running around wielding exciting bits of weaponry. Luckily there's all kinds of fun and japes to be found in the armed forces.

There is definitely some interesting spots here that I would love to visit. Especially driving down into the water would be awesome!

Life goes by pretty fast, and if you don't stop and look around once in a while you may miss it! Who said that? That's right it was Ferris and not this epically lazy dude who missed everything!

It might seem like yesterday to you but if in reality it was SO last century, can you remember all those daily things that you couldn't bear to be without (before the internet came around?). Time to get nostalgic.

You find the perfect girl and you feel as if your future is set for life, you gaze at her across the room and wouldn't change a thing about her......*wait! It's then you notice she has extremely hairy arms and your dream is shattered.

I once had a position in a lettuce factory and it was my job to peel off the outer leaves and cut it down the middle, then pass it on. I lasted a day. And it wasn't like I was sucking the cr*p out of festival toilets either. Crap jobs, eh?

While nature tries to destroy us and man tries to kill his fellow man, it's good to know that beauty pageants still exist to balance things out. At least i have figured one thing from this, i'd rather be in Carolina than Idaho :)